On Ego And Breaking Free From The Good Guy Syndrome

Recently, i observed my thoughts and my act following my thoughts, a lot. My thoughts usually goes this way "ah, there's a pretty girl there, i have to act cool, don't trip, don't talk to her, don't look her in the eye or else she will think you are a creep and would disgust me". That comes very naturally from my subconscious mind and i don't know why i have to act in that certain way. Another example that would be less extent would be when i was training in the BJJ class, i don't want to be a moment problem, if i cannot do a move correctly, i don't tend to ask for another try but tend to pass my turn and let other have it because i don't want to waste others' time. I fake it because i think people would love me, is it because i truly believe that no one will love me so i tried even harder to make that happen without realizing that doesn't work at all? What a shame.

What I don't understand is that where they come from? Now what do i do to deal with them? I still haven't figured out how to resolve them completely but i know what to call them, they are symptom of "Good Guy Syndrome". Why do i believe if i act in a certain way people will like me (or at least not hate me)? Why do i need that validation so bad? What's the motive? i don't need to be like that, that's so stupid. I don't mean to vent here but trying to convince myself that it's not a good way to act around people because that would show them i don't have a spine.

One last thing is that i don't want to feel frustrated to myself because i knew that there are things that made me this ways, we all had bad things in childhood and early life that conditions us to act in a certain way, the only thing we could do now is to accept it and decide how to deal with it.