Unconscious Blame

I learnt that take responsibility and do not blame other people, I'm very well aware of this and have applied it into my life for a while, but maybe i still blame people, i just chose not to talk it out.

I will write down 3 examples:

The first one is that my friend accidentally break my favorite cup and apologize about it. I would accept it because there's nothing i could do but to accept the apology, choosing not to forgive him would results in nothing but losing a friend who already admitted his fault. Can i blame him in this situation? Then, at some point later when I'm thirsty and i don't have a cup to drink water, do i think of him? If i think of him, then maybe I still assign the blame to him, it's a little inconvenience and a little frustration.

The second one is that someone in my team accidentally do something wrong, now the whole team gets the complaint from the client. I focus to fix the issue but i also use the tools to check who did that part. Before using that particular tool to check who did it, maybe i asked myself questions: If i did that part? If it's not then who?. If i was the guy who did that, the i would feel embarrassed, but if it's someone else done it, i would feel superior because now I'm doing them a favor. What this kind of thinking depict? a big ego? There's no direct blaming here and in the first example, but since i knew who had done the thing wrong, i feel bad for them and feel superior because i didn't do it, I'm not blaming out loud but do it in a indirect way, since i cannot tell the blame with other people, I tell myself that i blame the other person and feel good about it.

The third story is that we get some terminal illness that cannot be cure and we only have a limited time on earth, since we don't know why we get the disease, who gave it to us? Since we didn't know who did wrong here, we unconsciously keep asking questions "Why? Why is this happening to me?", then we go to the church and asking god why he gave us this disease? This happen in a pattern as if we are we finding someone to blame? Are we blaming god? Are we blaming the nature? We are telling ourself that we did nothing wrong. Indeed, it's true that terminal illness is never our desire, it could be because of genetic and out of our control. But the blaming is still there. If the doctor come to me and tell me that it's indeed the genetic, i would just accept it. But if the root cause is not found, i wouldn't likely to accept the fact that i have disease that cannot be cured.

Can we ever just accept something because it happens?

Now come to good things, we don't assign the blame of something good happen, we just gladly accept it rather than digging to find out why it happened and who made it happen? That could be true, but on second thought, we assign luck to take the role of everything fortunate happens to us. Someone dropped their money, I'm the lucky bastard who found this free money, I'm so lucky. I won't dig in to find out who dropped this to blame this fortunate. I passed the exam even though i didn't prepare for it, maybe I'm lucky, now I'm happy for the whole day and accept it easily.

Then, the part where we don't blame is not a hundred percent accurate, maybe it's the acceptance that follows it. Do we truly satisfy with the fact that things happened and move on with it or tell yourself that it's not your fault so you won't feel bad about it and pity others?